Get Off the Sidewalk!

NOTE: IT IS ILLEGAL TO CYCLE ON THE SIDEWALK IN OTTAWA.

Now that we've established that basic fact:

Yesterday morning, Tonia and I were out for a walk across the Champlain Bridge, which spans the Ottawa River. It's a long bridge, complete with bike lanes. There is but one sidewalk.

So you can imagine our reaction to two cyclists coming toward us on the sidewalk.

Tonia stepped out and started pointing to the bike lane, a metre away. They kept coming. We blocked the sidewalk. They kept coming. Matters came to a full stop. The two idiot cyclists couldn't figure out why we wouldn't get out of their way.

"It's illegal to cycle on the sidewalk," I start. Immediately the woman pipes up. I get a look at her. Definitely a member of the Lance Armstrong cycling club, outfitted with the latest cycling gear, made up, looking like she knew how to handle a bike.

"It's terribly dangerous," she says. To add emphasis, about a dozen riders whizzed by in the bike lane--in perfect safety.

Oh, for christ's sake, here we go again. I don't like the looks of cycling in the street; I haven't taken two minutes to think for myself--I'm just going to ride on the sidewalk because it looks safer--and to hell with legality!

We let them go. They continued on the sidewalk, oblivious to the fact that they were doing anything wrong. They've probably been telling all their friends about the hostile couple who had a problem with them this morning. They'll laugh politely, shake their heads and made a small comment about "all kinds."

Well, so am I. I can't believe the level of ignorance associated with bicycles in this city. I can't believe the lengths they'll go to rationalize what they do. And I'm not going to take it anymore!

I've been putting up with this nonsense for 30 years. I've been hit by bicycles in every conceivable situation: in a crosswalk. From behind on a sidewalk (twice). Coming the wrong way out of a one-way street. I'm tired of it. Bikes are traffic. They are vehicles and have no business in the same lane as pedestrians.

Well, let me tell you something: you can deny it all you want; you can picture yourself as a conveniently-wheeled pedestrian if you want; but you won't be doing it around me.

Because, when you ride on the sidewalk, it creates a safety issue for me. I've decided that that's not acceptable anymore. I've decided that I've got to be more proactive about my own safety.

From now on, if I catch you riding my way on the sidewalk, I'm not moving. You want around, you get on the street where you belong. You try to squeeze past me, and I'm going to be vocal. And if you stop to take exception to my comments, there's gonna be trouble.

And when the police arrive (and they will), we'll have a little conversation about legalities, safety issues, idiocy, and so on. Guaranteed I won't be the one getting a traffic ticket.

And if you happen to hit me, I'm going down like a ton of bricks--right after I drop you, which takes about one second flat with a bicycle. The police will be called; ambulances, too. There'll be a whole bloody scene, and you're not getting away easily!

Because, in this day and age, for anybody to claim they don't know that sidewalk-riding is illegal is disingenuous at best, and bloody ignorant at worst. No, as of now, I have just one thing to say about sidewalk cyclists:

Get 'em!

-Bill